For all of you people out there who like to eat out at a restaurant (not a fast food restaraunt), here's a helpful tip.
Have you just entered the restaraunt and found out that it's gonna be a 30 minute wait for a seat? Well don't just sit on
your butt like a fool wasting your perfect evening out. Take a seat at the bar!!! If you're in a group of like four or less,
why wait for a table? A bar is just as good, plus it's got those cushioned spinny seats!!! You also get your drink orders
in the blink of an eye!!! Even if you do reall want a table you can just wait in the bar and grab a drink for those usually
boring30 minutes. So don't just sit there like a sucker, go and eat!!!
Todays laugh:
It's not a joke!!!! Yeah, I can't think of any. And I really don't feel like ripping off some one elses material. But
I do have a suggestion that, if followed, could lead to some serious laughs. I don't know if you've noticed, but one of the
links on my site is a link to a site called Homestar Runner .com. Let me just tell you, it is one of the funniest things on
the web. It is also one of the most popular. If you don't already know about it, I strongly suggest going there to watch some
funny, funny stuff.
NEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWS:
Welcome to channel... 89 ACTION SNAZZ-TASTIC NEWS!!! I'm your host, Taylor Beaumont. First on the chopping block,
This just in!!!! Sony, that electronics company with all that super funalicious stuff will be headlining the future of
software. My sources inform me...that Sony, has pattened a certain idea. An idea of biblocal proportions. And that idea is.
To make TV even more exciting!!!!! They're idea is a head device that sends electrons into your brain or whatever. (Some sort
of high tech science crap like that). And let's you actually smell, taste, feel, and experience in a whole new way, the show
you are watching!!!!!!!!! Now, of course, you probably think I'm lying, and I might be, but hear me out. This idea will cost
millions upon millions of dollars and will require the most advanced of technology. So according to what I have heard, this
idrea won't come out for another like, fifteen years, probably more. So that's a long time, but think about. Watching TV like
that would be an amazing experience. So of course it will take about twenty or maybe even thirty years. Hey, I can wait. Something
like that will change the world forever. The future is coming!!!!!!!!!
In other news,
Listen up yous!!!!!!! I got some sizzilin', conversation starting gold with this report. Turns out, Mr. Tour de France
himself isn't perfect. Um, aside from the cancer and all. Anywho, Lance Armstrong, the iron, bike....guy, has an irregularity.
Turns out he has an oversized heart. That's right. His heart is bigger than alot of people in this world. I've heard only
one in like every billion people will get this size of heart. Now I don't mean to rag on him, but maybe that's how he's been
winning. With that gimungo heart he can pump blood through his body faster. Probably. So yeah, who'd a thunk it right? Lance
Armstrong has a big ol' heart. And I mean a big ol'. Like seriously. Yeah.
Now check this out:
The Simpsons to end in 2009!!! Yes, you heard right that awesome show that's been going on for many years will finally
come to an end in four years. Partly because the actors have signed a deal with Matt Groening taking them up to the 19th season.
It's also because of the challenge growing increasingly harder each year. Groening says it's because it's so difficult to
keep surprising the audience. He says to expect more episodes about secondary character like Apu, Comic Book Guy, and Milhouse
in the the final fives seasons. Matt's goal is to reach a total of 365 episodes so that there's one for each day of the year
with no repeats. So be warned, I know you don't want to hear it, but The Simpsons wii end around 2009.
In other non-related news:
Your favorite songs. Just a form of listening entertainment, or a lifesaver?
This question will be anwered.... right now!!!! So yeah. I don't know if it was a coincidence or whatever but. In the U.S
of A there was this seven year old kid, who gothit by a car. And BAM!!!! Coma. So the kids been in it for several weeks, but
then mommy comes. This kids most favorite album in the world was American Idiot, by our very favorite Green Day!!!!! She played
the music by the hospital bed and in several minutes, the kids eyes were opening annd hewas moving around showing definite
signs of life. Coinsidence? Or the real deal? I don't know about you but, that story is pretty convincing. So you're favorite
songs could be more than just some sort of sound file you listen to while scarfing down a bag of schenectady crispies......
And.....................
Michael Jackson is innocent!!!!! You heard me. The weirdo of a man has been decided as innocent and is free as of, i
don't know how many days ago. I agree that he's gone overboard with the wierdness and all, but Michael Jackson jokes are getting
really lame. Uh, "What do Maichael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common? They're both white and the're both harmful to
children!!!!" Ha HA. Not funny man. Come on. He's a wacko and all but come on. Go back to make Backstreet Boys jokes. Actually
they have just released a new album which by my standards should be the dorkiest ever. So go make fun of them, but Michael
Jackson? Yes he supposedly did stuff to samll children. Forget about it, it's over, live your life.
Also,
Expect to see some more Superhero movies comin up! There will be some sequels of course including: Hulk 2, X-Men
3, and Daredevil 2 all released around 2006. Also expect to see Iron Man, played by Tom Cruise and Ghost Rider played
by Nicholas Cage. Also released around 2006. Hey' it's worth the wait!
Hey, dig this:
Okay, I just watched Fantastic Four, and, let me tell you, I have something to say about it. Let me just start off with
the word..... LAME!!!!!!!! There is barely any fighting in the whole movie. More than three fourths of the movie is them figuring
out their new powers and getting mad at each other. The movie is more about Benn Grimm getting mad at everyone than about
Dr. Doom trying to destroy the Fantastic Four. Yeah, Grimm goes on about how he's got it hard because of his appearance. His
wife leaves him and he gets sad. The Human Torch shows off and makes everyone love him but his group members get mad at him.
Yadda yadda yadda who cares!!!!! People want to see action!!!! Rough, tough, in your face fight scenes not two dorks talking
on and on. I think I'll have to rate this movie a 3/10. Yeah. It stunk. Majorly. So, you may have a different opinion than
me, but I think it is a bad watch. Peace out.
If you want more true news, watch T.V. even though the news on T.V. is really boring. Or, buy the Magazine Not For Adults!
And
that is the news. I'm Taylor Beaumont sayin' "Don't spay or neuter your pets!" Goodnight, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
I will put new stuff on later! Or will I?????? ............... Yes, I probably will............. or will I??????
And make sure to email me if you have any thing to say about what I just said!! See you, later!
